Before smartphones, not everyone kept a calendar of activities.
When Mom was younger and in better health, shopping was her sport. I’d come for a visit and we’d have breakfast and then head out the door for a day of shopping.
Slowly, over time, our shopping days started later and later. I first noticed this transition about a decade ago when Mom entered her ‘70s. When she had finished breakfast, made her bed, and got showered and dressed for the day; the clock typically read 11:00 a.m. If you’re like me, you would have been hanging around, waiting for a couple of hours. Once ready, however, we didn’t start our day; it merely signaled coffee time. So, instead of getting grabbing the car keys, I grabbed the kettle and asked, “Mom, would you like a cup of coffee?” “Yea, that would be good,” Mom would always say. Ten years later, we start our shopping day about 1:00 p.m., after coffee and a snack.
Circle of Life Moment: Goodbye Agenda
As my single friends started to get married and have children, it became quickly apparent that control over their day — that they enjoyed while single — no longer existed. Children run on their own time clock, and despite best efforts, there isn’t much that can be done other than sit back and wait.
Stopping for coffee before we started our day was irritating, to say the least. After many frustrating visits with Mom, it occurred to me that this was not a new situation, but similar to waiting for my friends and their children. So, a new plan was implemented immediately … no plan. Looking at the extra time in the morning as a gift that can be used for reading, chilling, whatever.
Today, outings start when they start. Our time together is much more enjoyable, even though our days now start at 1:00 p.m.
Parenting Our Parents 